It is almost 3am!
I am exhausted...literally can not keep my eyes open...but I am really trying to. I have just woken up from a nightmare. They have been happening on and off for about two months now. Mostly it is things about the girls. A range of different scary scenarios but tonight I have resumed a recurring nightmare where I just cannot wake myself up and that in itself is the actual nightmare.
In the dream I am aware that I am in my bed and that I am asleep. Imagine the moment where your brain realises it is time to wake up but that you are actually still asleep and only just about to wake up (does that make sense?)
It is the moment where my brain realises that it is time to wake up...but I am still totally paralysed, can not talk, move...nothing. I am fully aware by this stage that I am no longer, in fact, asleep but that my brain is awake but my body is asleep.
This is where I start to panic, because I can't wake myself. Like the switch that you wake up with every morning just before you open your eyes somehow isn't functioning. My brain tells me to move, but I can't and don't. I wave my arms around in bed (it feels as if I am actually doing it) I scream as loud as I can (it feels as if I am actually screaming) I thrash and scream for about 5 minutes (sometimes it feels like 10) continually screamming hoping that I will be able to rouse myself or somehow get hubby-j to hear me and wake me up.
I will eventually wake up but my eyes are extremely heavy and I have on many occasions fallen straight back to sleep without wanting to and repeated the whole process over again.
I really hate it.
When I wake I have asked hubby-j why he didn't wake me with all the thrashing and yelling and he always says that there was absolutely no thrashing and that the only reason that (on the occassion) he has woken me was that I was mumbling something about waking up.
Tonight I was quite panicked and breathless by the time I actually woke and very scared to go back to sleep in case it happens again.
So here I am with you
The nightmare part of this post is a last minute addition.
The three N's were supposed to be...
NEW...to me anyway (like I need anymore!)
...and these too...all cotton.
Thank you for all your comments and sorry for the delay in the ladybug cards. The pyglet whispers household went on a spur of the moment holiday last week to the Blue Mountains. Three days turned into five so I went with it.
There were six of you who left a comment...meshell, dorie, est (thanks so much for the rockin' blogger award too btw), melanie, angelique and li li. I have 6 cards, so if you let me know your addresses (li li...I have yours...as long as you haven't moved?) I will send one to each of you.
EDIT: You might need this...pyglet(AT)gmail(DOT)com
I was also going to write about the big black spider that strolled across my living room floor the other night and how I am one arachnophobe he really shouldn't have messed with. By the time I had coated him in bug spray I really couldn't tell you whether he was just a very large but not as dangerous house spider or, in fact a local funnel web that had decided to bunk with us because of the rain.
(I have a photo but I have decided that I just cannot look at it anymore!)