Thursday, September 13, 2007

N - (nightmares, new, names, nice...not!)

It is almost 3am!

I am exhausted...literally can not keep my eyes open...but I am really trying to. I have just woken up from a nightmare. They have been happening on and off for about two months now. Mostly it is things about the girls. A range of different scary scenarios but tonight I have resumed a recurring nightmare where I just cannot wake myself up and that in itself is the actual nightmare.

In the dream I am aware that I am in my bed and that I am asleep. Imagine the moment where your brain realises it is time to wake up but that you are actually still asleep and only just about to wake up (does that make sense?)

It is the moment where my brain realises that it is time to wake up...but I am still totally paralysed, can not talk, move...nothing. I am fully aware by this stage that I am no longer, in fact, asleep but that my brain is awake but my body is asleep.

This is where I start to panic, because I can't wake myself. Like the switch that you wake up with every morning just before you open your eyes somehow isn't functioning. My brain tells me to move, but I can't and don't. I wave my arms around in bed (it feels as if I am actually doing it) I scream as loud as I can (it feels as if I am actually screaming) I thrash and scream for about 5 minutes (sometimes it feels like 10) continually screamming hoping that I will be able to rouse myself or somehow get hubby-j to hear me and wake me up.

I will eventually wake up but my eyes are extremely heavy and I have on many occasions fallen straight back to sleep without wanting to and repeated the whole process over again.
I really hate it.

When I wake I have asked hubby-j why he didn't wake me with all the thrashing and yelling and he always says that there was absolutely no thrashing and that the only reason that (on the occassion) he has woken me was that I was mumbling something about waking up.

Tonight I was quite panicked and breathless by the time I actually woke and very scared to go back to sleep in case it happens again.

So here I am with you

* * * * * * * * *

The nightmare part of this post is a last minute addition.

The three N's were supposed to be... me anyway (like I need anymore!)

...and these too...all cotton.

Thank you for all your comments and sorry for the delay in the ladybug cards. The pyglet whispers household went on a spur of the moment holiday last week to the Blue Mountains. Three days turned into five so I went with it.

There were six of you who left a comment...meshell, dorie, est (thanks so much for the rockin' blogger award too btw), melanie, angelique and li li. I have 6 cards, so if you let me know your addresses (li li...I have long as you haven't moved?) I will send one to each of you.

EDIT: You might need this...pyglet(AT)gmail(DOT)com

I was also going to write about the big black spider that strolled across my living room floor the other night and how I am one arachnophobe he really shouldn't have messed with. By the time I had coated him in bug spray I really couldn't tell you whether he was just a very large but not as dangerous house spider or, in fact a local funnel web that had decided to bunk with us because of the rain.

(I have a photo but I have decided that I just cannot look at it anymore!)


Dy said...

Ooo, your nightmare thing sounds awful and very scarey. Hope it stops as soon as!
My dad gets something similar, I think he said it's called sleep paralysis.

dorie said...

yikes! That's not good. Not being able to wake takes away that safe haven.

I'm excited about the lady bug and pleased that you did not share the spider.

angelique said...

yippee, I will look forward to the card and I am also glad you didn't share the spider thingy.

est said...

thanks!!!and the fabrics are so gorgeous!!! vintagel lovely :)

littlemissmeshell said...

Add me to the list of excited about the lady bug, thank you! =)

samantha said...

nightmares are just horrible - I hope your recurring one goes away. I have found in the past if I think up an alternative ending to my nightmare and think about this as I go to sleep I have stopped the cycle. just something you could try. I scared the bejesus out of Mr Whizzme the other night with my own nightmare, and apparently was screaming in my sleep! I woke to find him hugging me and the dog licking my hand!

Glad you didn't share the spider.

Betty said...

Wow, I've never been here but I'm glad I came. Was frightened by the nightmare story but totally intruiged by your collections and art. I hope your brain gives you a break...from the nightmares not the art and collections and stuff. What I felt was a sudden rush...a desire to rifle through your collections of fabric! :)

li li said...

Dani, please use the address that you have. Thank you so much!! By the way, can you please write on the postcard instead of sending me an empty one? ^o^

Melanie Willows said...

Bad one! Can you try tore-run the dream when you are awake but give yourself a better ending?

Distraction- and another N the Name Game.
Tag! I've just been tagged and asked to find 7 people to do the same to. NAME GAME:
You need to list one fact that is relevant to your life for each letter of your name, then tag that many people to continue the game. I've just done mine. It was harder than I expected.

Gabrielle said...

Hello there, sorry to hear about the nightmares, they sounds frightening indeed. I have a recurring dream that I've lost my baby somewhere in the bed (even though he now sleeps in the cot) I'm constantly waking my husband up with this anxiety, and it takes him a while to talk me out of it each time. Another of the joys of motherhood! Hope it gets better soon, wishing you sweet dreams.

Gabrielle said...

oops, sorry about the typo in that last comment - I meant "they sound frightening", the obsessive compulsive in me just couldn't leave it like that!