I remember when travelling in Canada I bought my first car, a 1976, metallic blue, chevy van with mag wheels, that had been partially camperised.
I named her "Petunia" (my eyes are misty just thinking of her)
At the ski resort I had been working at, I met a really nice guy and decided I would ask him along for the ride. We travelled west for two weeks from Lake Louise across to Tofino on Vancouver Island. It was an amazing time but I had a lot that I was thinking about, or in fact trying NOT to think about. After being ditched, only to have him change his mind a couple of days later and catch me up down the road (I wasn't stoppin' for no one!), we both headed across Canada towards Toronto. When we reached a small town somewhere past Thunder Bay, it dawned on me that I might not have called my mum since telling her I was going to hit the road with some "goofy" pizza delivery guy I had met whilst staying in staff accoms at a ski resort (now a mum, I can see why this might be scary!)
Four weeks had passed.
Needless to say my mother was out of her head with worry and only days away from calling the RCMP (the police) so they could send out the dogs to find my carcass after the axe murdering pizza guy I had decided to drive across Canada with had been done with me.
Why the long story?
It's just the way my brain is working at the moment. I remember that trip and the phone call I finally made to my mum. I really had no idea that so much time had passed without contacting her. Everyone says "you must have been having fun!" and of course I was but I was also trying very hard not to think about the situation. I was trying hard not to analyse anything or to confuse anything. I just wanted to live in the moment and enjoy each second for what it was without thinking about tomorrow or yesterday. I didn't want to jinx it. I kind of didn't want to burst the bubble and perhaps come crashing back to reality.
This is a bit like how I feel at the moment. I just want to stay in the moment. I feel I need to. I don't want to think about my future or the work that needs doing. I don't want to analyse how I am doing or how I am coping. The weeks are just rushing past me with very little to externally show for it...
I am having such a good time enjoying my li'l z. She is very smiley and extra chatty and has just begun to sound like she is laughing. Me and the girl (but mainly me) can spend ages dancing, singing and talking to her, nuzzling, smelling and kissing her soft baby skin. She is (as was the girl) my biggest time waster and...
I'm so sorry that I haven't called in to let you guys know. Thank you for your concern and for continuing to stop by and check that I am o.k.
I cannot believe so much time has passed!
btw...the axe murdering pizza guy? He got named... "hubby-j"