Setting: A local swimming pool car-park situated near a well known junkie/urine smelling/rat infested hole under a busy overpass.
A small girl, approximately two and a half, walks with her daddy to their parked car. The sun shines warmly down on them. As her daddy stops to open his boot (trunk for our American readers) the small girl stoops and picks up a gorgeous pink, but horrifyingly suspect drinking straw. Obviously still in that orally fixated stage...
-(her mother does wonder when she can stop screeching some expletive whilst thrusting multiple fingers inside her daughter's mouth to fish out yet another tasty but definitely non-edible morsel)-
...she pops the end neatly into her tiny, sweet mouth.
Alarmed, but remaining calm her daddy quickly but gently asks her to remove it. She innocently ignores him...
-(her mother also wonders why this stage is even necessary)
He moves toward her with more determination and diligently bends down to her level and says in a soft and caring voice...
"Take that straw out of your mouth please. It is very dirty and you might get sick and if you get sick, then mummy and daddy will get sick and if mummy and daddy get sick, then gigi and poppy will get sick and they are so old they will die"
I am sure that the resultant straw dropping back to the asphalt was only due to the poor girls open gape of stunned horror. Her daddy turned around with a snigger and a glint in his eye.
Hubby-j's evil daddy side strikes again!